Yeah, there’s coffee, and laughter in abundance, but there’s something else too. Something that only comes forged in pain. I don’t have a word for it, but it’s there to be cherished – oddly like a terrible battle wound. See this? We went to war and we survived. Isn’t it strange that the hard things often knit us as close (if not closer) than the happy moments? They say that “love changes everything“, but sometimes I think everything changes love: kids, illness, job changes…and often just the weight of years and the passing of time. Love is not a static, stoic concept, but it is deep, and it’s meant to be unshakeable as it mirrors Jesus love for us and in us.
So what happens when things like cancer come at a marriage? In the video below, we take a few minutes to share a little of what we’ve learned and are still learning today.
Because life is messy, love is going to be messy too – that’s the primary reason we sat in front of an iPhone on a Saturday morning with no make-up, no good angles, or fanciness of any kind.
This is us.
We are real.
We fail more times than either of us would like to admit to each other or you, but we will fight for our marriage. We must fight for our marriage.
And please don’t kid yourselves…this isn’t always self-generated or motivated by flowery love, but rather, determined commitment. We had people during Chase’s treatment actually holding us accountable to talking with each other, spending time with each other, even being intimate with each other…because honestly, truly, and messily…if we hadn’t had someone calling us out and reminding us of our marriage, we would have ignored it and ignored us. This is the nature of stress and real life.
The fact that we’re still together is the grace of God, but dear ones, if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s that you’re going to fall. It’s a foregone conclusion – this is life. But will you fall away from each other, or towards each other?
Fight for each other. Fight to fall into each other’s arms. Things like cancer will seek to take many, many pieces of us, but fight to make sure marriage is not one of those pieces.
With love, messiness, and a deep-rooted longing for Perfect Love…
Moment by moment.
[Disclaimer: After you watch this, you’ll know why I write instead of talking…or why my spiritual gift will never be filming and editing a cell phone video. Just sayin’…go with your gifts.]