“You know it’s okay to say this really stinks, right?”
Bob and I have heard variations on this question many, many times in the last two weeks. Yes, we really, really do know that this stinks. We weep and are often overwhelmed, but we marvel ourselves at the peace we feel.
I was recently made aware of a wonderful thought from Elisabeth Elliot that perfectly describes our feeling. She (our Chase Stratton Elliot’s great-great aunt) wrote this after losing her second husband to cancer. I read it in this moment not as pertaining to the loss of Chase, but as the loss of what could have been for Chase:
“It often happens that those whose loss is greatest receive the greatest share of grace, mercy, and peace. This does not mean that they never cry, of course. But they do not collapse. Those who only watch and pray and try to put themselves in the place of the bereaved find it almost unendurable. Sometimes they weep uncontrollably, for their imaginations never include the grace.” (The Path of Loneliness)
Oh dear ones, when you think of us, imagine the grace! It is beyond your (and even our) wildest imaginations.
As of today, we know that Chase is scheduled to begin treatment by the end of the week. Please pray for us to continue in a moment-by-moment walk with Jesus.
“But safety, as the Cross shows, does not exclude suffering…trust in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. We are not doomed to meaninglessness. A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.” (The Path of Loneliness)
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning…” Psalm 130:5-6 (ESV)