Peace

The MRI has not been fully read and released yet, but according to Chase’s neurosurgeon this afternoon, Chase’s spine has already been declared “clear” and it’s likely (based on the neurosurgeon’s personal viewing of the results) that Chase’s brain is likely clear of cancer as well. And while they will be paying special attention to some areas like the cerebellum and brain stem, searching for potential explanations for Chase’s ongoing weariness, the areas that they’re always monitoring haven’t changed enough yet to merit surgery.

I’m so thankful for today and the peace that surrounded it. Dear ones, it seems we are in a season with no actual cancer. Many complications, yes, but no cancer. I have no idea how long this will be… it could be that it was only from February until all the different teams officially read the MRI in the next week or more, it could be until his next thyroid ultrasound in June, or it might be for a longer time altogether.

I would never ordinarily type out this season gut feeling, but I’m writing it tonight in the wake of these last hours when you’ve sat with us because every hour we have is precious, dear ones. There is much we continue to wait on with Chase… I think it will be that way until heaven. We will always be watching things and waiting and not having the exact answers we crave. And yet, we will never stop giving thanks for the answers we are given and the peace the comes regardless.

“Tell them I was brave and it’s done now.”

(from my sweet boy, himself)

Moment by moment.