Why Talking Can Be Better Than Listening

This is Aidan. 

Mr. Mischief

Aidan struggles greatly in the area of patience.  When he does [generally every few hours], I find myself doing the thing I swore I would never do [years ago when I was young and foolish].  I channel my mother.  Chiding him gently, I break into a little song from my own childhood about patience. 

 “Have patience, have patience.  Don’t be in such a hurry.  When you get impatient, you only start to worry.  Remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all times that others have to wait for you.” 

The result of this “musical correction”?  To this moment, whenever I utter the phrase “Have patience, Son“, Aidan [bless his tiny heart] breaks into a song-like chant: “Hah peh-it, hah peh-it, hah peh-it” [have patience].  Ironically, I no longer sing him the song but it’s almost as if he needs to tell himself to patiently keep a lid on whatever it was that he was about to start screaming over.  I find myself smothering a laugh whenever he does this because it’s so cute.  However, cutie-cute factor aside, as I contemplated this behavior last week, I realized that in his own little way, Aid was preaching to himself.  “Have patience, have patience!”  — which reminded me of a great quote: see below —

This little anecdote has become a lovely reminder for me.  When there is something that I’m both supposed to do, and struggling against … when I’m tired … when I’m angry … when I’m hurting … do I listen to myself, or do I preach to myself? 

When the “have patience” moments come, I pray I will choose to remind myself of all that I know to be true.  [Philippians 4:8] 

Will you?

“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment [in Psalm 42] was this: instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says,: “Self, listen for moment, I will speak to you” (Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression, [Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1965] p. 20).

Friday Five

This week, I decided to make the “Friday Five” about our reading life.  Here is what we’ve just finished, what we’re currently reading as well as (for the adults anyway) what’s next up on the list.  Have a great weekend everybody! 🙂

B:  “Gospel Powered Parenting”, William Farley (just finished) “Sheet Music”, Kevin Leman (current), “The Road To Serfdom”, F.A. Hayek (up next)

E:Don’t Make Me Count To Three!“, Ginger Plowman (just finished), “Gospel Powered Parenting“, William Farley, “The Pleasures of God“, John Piper (simultaneous current), “Why We’re Not Emergent: By Two Guys Who Should Be“, Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck (up next)

D:  “Uncle Wiggily’s Story Book, Howard R. Garis (republished 1920’s chapter book about the adventures of a “gentleman rabbit” and his woodland friends)

A:  “Curious George and the Puppies“, H.A. Rey

C:  “Squishy Turtle, author [of this small fabric chew toy/book] unknown

A Note From the Trenches

I received a message from a dear and wise sister in Christ seeking counsel (from several women) on balancing life after you have more than one child.  I deliberated for way too long and finally wrote this morning.  I decided to repost some of my motherly musings here as well.

These are a few of the practical things that have helped me in life with multiple children.  They are numbered, but that doesn’t necessarily indicate their significance … just the order in which they came out of my head.

1) CHANGE IN ROUTINE AND HOUSEKEEPING

Start wrapping your mind around a smaller routine and possibly a less clean house.   This sounds a little harsh, but the load and time needed for each task increases exponentially with each child.  Getting anything done (including getting dressed!) is a MAJOR accomplishment and should be celebrated as such. 🙂

2)  MENU PLAN

If you don’t menu plan, consider trying it. Eliminating the “What’s for dinner?” stress is big, especially if  you have a little, little one (late afternoon/evening is often a really crabby time of day).


3) CROCKPOT

Crockpot.  ‘nuf said. 🙂  I don’t know how people feel about soups/stews, etc, but I find myself using my crockpot a lo-hot these days. I fix it while Chase takes his morning nap and Aidan and Darcy either play or watch a DVD.  That way, no matter what turn my day takes, there’s a real dinner.

4) ACCOUNTABILITY

Seek accountability regarding time in the Word. It seems crazy to even consider a Bible study or an accountability group at this point in life, but I can’t think of a time when I’ve needed the Lord more than I do right now — and needed the knowledge that other women are waiting to hear what the Lord is teaching me from the Word.  [wonderful, amazing idea: check out the Good Morning Girls concept here! ]

5) MOMMY FELLOWSHIP

Find other moms. Whether through your church or in your neighborhood, avail yourself of fellowship times and play dates.  I don’t know about you, but it is always such an encouragement for me to talk with other moms and realize that what I’m going through is what we all go through.  It’s also a great and practical way to pick up advice and parenting tips.

6)  MOMMY TIME

If your husband’s work schedule allows, plan for “Mommy Time”. This can be as often as once a week, or as little as once a month — just get away!  Have your hubby watch the kids, and even if it’s only 60 minutes in-between a baby’s feedings, do some grocery shopping, grab your Bible study and head to the local Starbuck’s, even take a walk or run!
7)  BEWARE OF SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES & BLOGS

Say what?  You’re posting a blog in which you tell people to ignore/beware Facebook and blogs?!  Yep!  Facebook and the like can be a great networking tool, but I feel that, all too often, I’m found wanting when I read what other people are doing.  There are a few truly blessed super women that I know, but speaking from personal experience, it’s really easy to post the great recipes or exciting things I’m doing with my kids … what people CAN’T see (thank you, Jesus!) is that it’s 10:00AM and I’m still in my old sweatpants, oh, and I think my carpet is growing things because it hasn’t been cleaned in … I forget how long…  These venues of communication can too often easily encourage the good, but not always the REAL.  …well, or rather, the real, but not always the whole picture.

Beyond the practical points —
Entrust your days and even moments to the Lord. What you’re doing as a mom is the most noble thing. Never lose sight of the daily opportunity we’re given to point our children to the cross. If you tell your kids about Jesus and His love, if you discipline them wisely and train them with every ounce you’ve got, well then, it matters not one bit if you’re still in PJs at the end of the day and eating PBJ sandwiches for dinner.

Signed,  Another Mom In the Trenches

** I’d love to hear from other moms!  What are practical and biblical things that keep you going as you parent??**

If four year olds could vote …

This past Saturday, I took the kids to Starbuck’s while Bob was at a men’s conference.  While sitting in the “comfy chairs” sipping our organic milks and americanos [guess who had which one!], Darcy suddenly turned to me and asked: “Hey Mom, do you think Barack Obama likes to read magazines?”

When I was a kid, we wrote to the president all the time.  I still have their letters and pictures somewhere — Reagan, Bush, Clinton — I think it may be time for Darcy’s first letter.   And I’m rather glad she has a few more years ’til she can vote!

Is there life after chocolate?

The “official party line” of the Ewoldt household remains — “if it doesn’t have chocolate, it’s not dessert“.  However, I truly believe that there is one exception to this rule.  A recipe so luscious and lemon-y that it’s guaranteed to make your socks roll up and down.  …well, not really.  …but still, it’s really, really, really, really good.

You’ll need …

1 box of standard yellow cake mix

1 small package of lemon jello

3/4 cup oil

3/4 cup water

4 eggs

Mix all ingredients in a large mixing bowl (wonder how many times I can work the word “mix” into this sentence?) or mixer (ha!) for about 4 minutes and then pour into a greased 13×9 and bake at 350 for 30 to 45 minutes.

As soon as the cake is baked and removed from the oven, take a roasting fork and poke holes all over the top of it.  Then mix 2 cups of powdered sugar and 4 tablespoons of lemon juice and glaze (while cake is still hot).

Oh my … there are no words …

 

Lemon Jello Cake aka: all that is good and right about this lemony world