Incredibly, this surreal 2020 year is down to being measured in hours and minutes. This was a year of turning inward and seeing to ourselves in a strange season – even as we grieved with our community and world in unprecedented days. And yet, we did still laugh – a lot. As the kids age, less gets written down, not because it isn’t funny, but usually because it isn’t appropriate. [see also #LifeWithBoys 🙂 ]
On a mental, emotional, and physical level, this year has been very difficult and all along, we have prayed for the strength to choose joy. You’ve spent the year crying with us, so now, I invite you to laugh – even for a moment. And to that end, I’ve compiled a few status updates from my social media pages.
I chronicle these things (and have done so for many years now) because life is too short and childhood is even shorter and there are too many parenting moments when you’re faced with the choice of either laughing or melting into a puddle of tears. …and that’s all without even touching illness, hospital days and the simple act of processing it all…let alone a global pandemic and quarantine. So, as much as possible, despite the changes… we choose joy. And we choose to laugh.
**Many of the scenarios include personal hashtags: from the most common – #LifeWithBoys, to the most sarcastic [playing off our secret parenting fears] #NotScholarshipMaterial, as well as special guest appearance by legendary grandfather, Ed Poole.**
Sometimes, things go neatly, nicely, and exactly as planned, and sometimes, Chase finds the scotch tape. #LifeWithBoys
The one explanation I’m never truly prepared to deal with…: “BUT DAD STARTED IT!”
My special child just told me what I was going to say to him and then informed me that he “just took your mouth right out of the words”. Parenting Chase is the best.
“How To Get Grounded Really Fast”, a brief drama in one act…
Mom: “Aidan, it’s time for bed…”
Aidan: “That’s so oppressive. Are we in a dictatorship? We need a democracy! Bed… ha!”
[Aidan takes one look at his mother’s face and starts running]
The End.
You know it’s not great when the answer to “What happened here?!” is “Well, I sort of picked him up, but then I might have accidentally dropped him…” #LifeWithBoys
“But why can’t we play hide and seek in the garage? We won’t use the drills or the hammer…!” #LifeWithBoys
Good morning to everyone except Chase, who – upon waking at the crack of dawn – promptly discovered a referee’s whistle.
“I AM A VERY PATIENT PERSON! I only get IMPATIENT when you make me WAIT!” #LifeWithChase
“You are one hundred percent NOT going into the light. Now get up off the floor right now and eat your breakfast.” #LifeWithBoys
“I just love you so much, but Mom, I’m gonna leave you now because, well, you really need your beauty sleep.” #PointsForHonesty
“I’m not saying that you’re a bad cook… But, I mean, come on… it’s not really five stars around here.” – child most likely to NOT see his next birthday
Quarantine, day 6,832…
The boys have invented a game called “Box”.
In this game, one boy upends a large packing box, covering two-thirds of his body (including his vision, of course), and the other two boys kick and punch the “Box” until it/he falls over into the grass.
If you need me, I’ll be preparing for a highly probable ER run… #NotScholarshipMaterial
How to get grounded; the scientific approach:
“Well, Mom, you said you’re going to keep an eye on me, but if it’s only one eye, then you should know that you’ll have very little depth perception which means…you might not be able to keep an eye on me at all.” #SchoolForTheGifted
“Mom, you know me way too well to think I’m going to be careful.” – Karsten “Know Thyself” Ewoldt, age 8 and holding #SelfAwareness
Chase rage-deleted every app on his iPad and Karsten is weeping on the floor because his journal entry on perseverance is -wait for it- “too hard“.
Strongly considering just cancelling the rest of Tuesday. #LifeInQuarantine
“Well, I’m mostly done with math…partially done…sort of…I mean, I wrote my name at the top of the paper and that’s something, right?” -Chronicles of a Public Home School
“No! I don’t have to answer that question! Because unlike you, I already graduated from second grade!” – Chronicles of a Public Home School #ParentingFTW
Always wear clothes on video calls with your teachers. That is all. -Chronicles of a Public Home School
“Ladies, ladies, you’re all very pretty, so no need to fight about it.” -Darcy to her fighting brothers #IQuit
“You want me to actually go into the boys’ bedroom?”
[tosses head]
“Tell my story. Make it good.” #TeenGirlSquad #Drama
Me: “What have you done to help the household today?”
Child: “I walked the dog!”
Me: “Oh, good. Thanks.”
Me: …
Me: “We don’t have a dog.”
Child: “THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!” #QuarantinedForLife
Me: “Where is the only place you should put stickers?”
Child: “Not on the wall, that’s for sure.” #LifeWithBoys #QuarantinedForLife
Chase: “I do not know who took Darcy’s last pack of polaroids and used them all up, but it probably was not me.”
Also Chase: … #SmoothCriminal
“I was in labor with you for three whole days, so I think you can manage second grade!” #MotherOfTheYear
Child: “Do we have duct tape …and a screwdriver, oh, and also a hammer?”
Me: “What do you need them for?”
Child: “Um…probably nothing.” #LifeWithBoys
“I’m pretty much fluent now.”
“But are you?”
“Totally.” [speaks a phrase in Spanish]
“So, your brother is your uncle and also a giant chicken?”
“Exactly. Fluent, see?” #NoMaterialEscolar #TeenGirlSquad
Goodnight and goodbye, dear 2020 …I’d love to say we’ll miss you, but we probably won’t.
Moment by moment.
“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
Psalm 16:6