Dear Ones,
After completing more tests and meeting with a cardiology team, we learned today that Chase’s heart function is decreasing.
At this time, it’s unclear how quickly this decrease is occurring, but today confirmed that the ejection fraction of the left ventricle is noticeably lower than his last (and normal) echocardiogram done a little over a year ago.
After a lot of serious and big words, we asked outright if Chase was in heart failure, and found the answer encouraging to our own hurting hearts:The actual failing comes when the heart can no longer support the proper function of the body, and right now, despite its decreased function, Chase’s heart is still supporting his body. Holding on to this very, very closely tonight.
Right now, Chase is wearing a heart monitor and more tests and labs were done today. Over the next weeks, there will be still more tests and meetings, and we will do all of this again in two months to try and get a better picture of how all of this is unfolding.
As we struggle to process something that is both awful and not surprising, we are so thankful that heart failure is in no way imminent at this moment…and yet we are deeply grieved that his heart is struggling at all.
On the way home, I was trying to explain the outcome of today’s meetings to Chase in a way he could understand – how this is serious, but for now, he’s also doing so well, and he asked me “Why didn’t you just let me die of the cancer, Mom? Why did you let me have all the treatments if they were just going to hurt my heart?” … and while I took a moment to catch my breath and pick up the pieces (he packs a punch with his questions some days, our Chase boy…), he interrupted the silence before I could speak with this: “Was it because God had a good plan for me? …because I had to do special things?” …and then, more strong, more convinced: “I have special things to do in this life.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, sweet boy.
Moment by moment.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
a great reminder to us all… God has a plan for each one of us…thank you Chase, the You Lord.
I am speechless. Everytime I read these posts , your writing pierces my heart. Chase is like a wise old soul. He is precious. I love you all so much. He is right. He does have important things to do here. I pray for your family daily. God bless you