Recently, as I was picking up* my house, I ran into a pair of my shoes (that I’d been searching for all day) sitting on top of the coffee table. Where had they been before landing on the table? I can only speculate …
*one of my endless side notes: I had to include the information that I was picking up the house. It needed to documented. It happens so rarely. Ask my husband.
This made me think though … how much time I could lose every single day in fruitless speculation over how things got to be where they currently are when I find them. My children seem to be masters at putting things where they absolutely shouldn’t go (including at times, THEMSELVES), and short of bubble-wrapping the entire house as a child-proofing measure, I’m slightly at a loss. Still, when I’m not in the stress of the moment, they make me laugh hysterically (maybe too hysterically). So, please feel free to enjoy some amusement at our expense … someday they’ll be geniuses, right?
Here are some of my favorite questions from the past few weeks …
Why is there a graham cracker in the VCR slot?
Who put Daddy’s tie on the dog? (toy dog … our kids are our pets right now, thank you very much)
Why are there match sticks in the door jamb? …and for that matter, how did you get matches?!
Why are you eating Grandma’s landscaping?
Why is there a half-eaten lollipop stuck to my dress pants?
Why is Daddy’s cell ear-piece in the high chair?
Where are my keys? …and why are they in the pac ‘n’ play?
Who locked Mommy’s bedroom door and then closed it?
Who took the toilet paper (cardboard) tube out of the recycling? …and ate a bite out of it?
How did Chase get stuck in the bunk bed ladder again?
How did this sippy cup get in my bed table drawer?
Why are there action figures in the bathroom magazine basket?
And, my absolute favorite …
Why are you sitting in the refrigerator?
Ever asked yourself a crazy question like this? Please share. I need to know I’m not alone. Or at least, that I’m not the only crazy one.
My genes are not at fault in any of these situations.
Out of the two of us, whose genes are most likely to go sit in the fridge, Honey?
Ellie, I laughed so hard at this! I’m not entirely there yet but I’m sure I soon will be as the kids get older and seeing as they have my husband’s genes. Anyway, I had to comment because I read Bob’s comment. I have to agree with you, Ellie. I do remember a summer in college when Bob and my now hubby decided they didn’t need to put on sandals or foot gear of any sort to go to Blockbuster. The end result? They ended up being asked to leave Blockbuster (Oh and my family decided to dub Bob “Barefoot Bob”). When the rest of us came out of the store Bob was on one end (I can’t remember if it was bumper or fender) and John was on the other end of the car we came in and they were basically using it as a type of see-saw. Lol! Great memories and more fuel to add to your fire, Ellie. =) Thank you for sharing your insanity with me!
Bethany, I love this story! It’s always so fun for me to hear more about Bob in college. PS: thanks for helping to prove that this really IS from Bob’s side. 😉
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all week. I hope this gets printed elsewhere. 🙂
Thank you, Jen! Me too! 🙂
This afternoon at lunch, Grammie had to tell Aidan to please take the fork out of his nose. Nowhere in Parenting 101 did we learn that kids would attempt to put a fork up their nose. AND we’re not talking the tine of the fork, we talking the handle-side of a plastic kids fork! OUCH!
Dad, I’m glad to hear the official explanation. I got an attempted recounting of the tale from Darcy and was a little worried. Nice to know he was on his *best behavior* at the grandparents.
hilarious, Ellie. You know, my kids do plenty of crazy things, but reorganizing the house is not one of them. Sometimes it’s nice to hear another person’s current insanities because it makes my particular brand seem easier to deal with!
So glad we could help with handling the insanity, Emily! That’s why we’re here. 🙂
oh, and I’m sure you can send your dry cleaning bill to Mr. Russell. I’m pretty sure that’s where the lollipop came from.