One day down, twenty-nine more to go…
I’ve mentioned before how very much I hate separating from Chase before a procedure and today was no exception. I left my unconscious child in a full body mold in the middle of a huge radiation machine, turned my back, and walked away. With this heavy on me, I cried the whole way back down the hall (much to the chagrin of the nurse escorting me, I’m sure…).
This entire radiation decision feels like a step down the path of destruction. The doctors (and we with them) must tear and ravage his body with everything there is in the hope of once and for all eradicating this terrible thing that is greater still than the near deathly salvation they’ll put him through.
And yet…
I thought again today about the words of Psalm 139 and realized, no, this is not a road to destruction, but to perfection!
I thought I had a healthy and perfect baby boy one December afternoon. I still remember the first pink tinge of life effusing his skin as they laid him in my arms. How beautiful he was.
And yet…
My mind cannot fully grasp this, yet my heart cries out that it is true: that December afternoon was but the beginning of a journey to perfection. Chase is only now becoming who his loving Heavenly Father desires him to be!
We don’t know now. But one day we will.
So we will endure that we may be complete. Lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
Moment by moment.
Every night when we’re saying prayers with Regan before bed, we pray for “Chase and his brain owie”. love you.
Wow. Breaks my heart. Praying for your family & for God’s healing hand upon Chase’s body, for wisdom & strength for you & your husband, and for the hands of the doctors as they work on him throughout this tough season. Praising God for your ability to see the beauty through the pain. Indeed our great God is making all of you, especially Chase, into who He wants him to be. God bless you all!!
Hold on sweet Chase. Hold on till the end of this long month journey. Our hearts and prayers are with you. Knocking of the door of heaven that you are given unexplainable peace through this. We love you so. Just rest sweet thing, just rest. You are still just as love by Jesus as the day you were born. Your Mama and Papa love you so very much and they love Jesus even more. We are praying for minimal side effects and burns.
xo
Tricia for the DeJong Family