Late this morning, I sat on a deep windowsill overlooking a crisp Fall city day and the beautiful lake. On my lap was snuggled a sweet and cuddly bald boy and we were watching a show on the iPad. I sipped my Starbucks americano and thought: “Wow, what a perfect moment. I am so blessed.” It was very like a movie scene…all lovely and right.
The truth is that I was sitting on that sill with my bald boy because he had to be out of the bed so that they could change the bloody sheets – a side effect of his last good IV site giving out and leaking all over. We were watching a movie to distract him from his bruised, battered, and swollen arms, and I was drinking coffee because I’d been up half the night after the bald boy pulled his central line out of his chest (in his sleep) and we had walked through the real-life bad dream of them telling us to keep him flat to guard against an embolism and helping to hold him perfectly still as he screamed and strained against the multiple, bloody attempts to place an IV so that he could continue his medicines and nutrition through the night.
My apologies for the graphic description. It was an intense night.
I guess my point in this is perspective.
There is the bruised, screaming child with the failed IV and there is the coffee and snuggling on the window sill. Both have been my recent reality and neither have cancelled the other out. But in this moment, there was grace given to see the joy.
“…the joy of The Lord is my strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
Choosing joy on a windowsill…
Moment by moment.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning…Psalm 30.5b
You lived this !!!
*tears*
You are in my daily prayers…
Ellie, my 3 home-schooled kids and I are praying for you, Chase, and your whole family. I’m sorry about the radiation delay and IV/central line struggles. I’ve got tears as I read this and am lifting you up… moment by moment …
We hear all our Christian life that God gives grace and supplies what we need, giving “peace that passes all understanding ” …you all are living proof to us of this truth. I cannot imagine the valley you are walking through but my heart and faith are stirred up to believe moment by moment because of how you are depending on Him for this grace. May God continue to fortify your whole family and get more glory for Himself as you believe Him.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Rom. 8:28 I pray for the good to come to Chase and all of you moment by moment, even though there are moments where the good is hidden. By your blogs, Ellie, there is so much good that is coming for the rest of us through seeing how you are trusting Him, clinging desperately to Him and praising Him in the midst of all these horrific moments. My whole family is keeping you all before Him moment by moment, too.
“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
You are a strong, loving person Ellie. We love you and Chase…just take one moment at a time.
If the Holy Spirit is God, and if the Holy Spirit lives in you, Ellie, then that makes you a “holy habitation of the Most High.” I believe this verse is just for you. “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God wil lhelp her when morning dawns.” Ps. 46:4-5
Wonderful writing. I remember Kath pulling hers out too…..out of defiance. Love to you
Read and pray, cry and rejoice over your posts…..think of all of you each and every day. Love and blessings, Wendy (Walker) Larson